Lenore Skenazy is an op-ed columnist at the New York Sun. When she wrote about allowing her nine-year-old son ride the New York City subway system alone, she made headlines in Newsweek, and answered critics on The Today Show and NPR’s All Things Considered. Naturally the blogosphere went nuts, too, with comments ranging from “she’s the world’s worst mother” to “kudos to you”!
Lenore explained her decision to allow her seemingly bright and independent grade-schooler take public transportation alone at her new blog Free Range Kids — “where we we believe in safe kids. We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts. We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail. Most of us grew up Free Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no less.”
Lenore is so right! I’m sure many of you rode your bikes, traveled down the street to play kickball, or explored the nearby forest with your friends from dawn to dusk in the summertime, and your parents didn’t know exactly where you were. You survived!
I admit, with my own kids, I’m a bit of a worry-wart — I wonder “what if?” a heck of a lot more than my husband. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being envelope them in bubble wrap and keep them in the house for the rest of their lives, and 10 being put a five-year-old on a cross-country Greyhound bus), I’m about a 5. My husband is closer to an 8.
When we travel, we try to instill some independence in them — and we’re teaching them how to read maps and directional signs in public places. My 8-year-old is put in charge of getting us to our airline gate at the now-familiar Denver international Airport. She’s old enough to figure out that B48 is not down the wing for B1-B15.
At the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, Texas, the kids absolutely loved having their room keys embedded in their wristbands. They could trot down to our hotel room each night while my husband and I finished drinks at dinner. We felt perfectly safe in the family-friendly hotel letting them make their way on their own. (Okay, so I didn’t linger that long over drinks…)
On vacation, we tend to try new sports and activities that we just can’t do at home. My daughter rode her first zipline at age 6, sailing 275 above a river in Hawaii. On that same trip, this daredevil child jumped off the side of a cliff, 25 feet in the air on a rope swing, to land in a pool of water at the base of a waterfall. Did my heart catch in my throat as I watched her do these things? Of course! But what a sense of accomplishment she felt afterwards!
Lately, my husband and I have been talking about allowing our children to fly alone on a direct flight from Denver to Boston next year to visit their grandmother. They will be 7 and 9. Since my children have been traveling since they were only a few months old, I’m all for it. They know the whole flying routine and the airplane rules (no kicking the seat in front of them!). They’d be perfectly content watching DVDs or playing their hand-held video games for a couple hours, until Grammie meets them at the gate.
More importantly, flying by themselves will help instill some important traits, such as self-reliance, independence and self-confidence–all key for thriving as teenagers, college students and adults!
I am totally with you on this one. All children need a sense of independence and self-reliance, if not for it at a young age then where would they be when they go off to college or worse, have a family of their own. I myself am a mother of two very handsome boys and I do let them walk around the corner to get treats and go to the movies(if I drop them off and pick them up), to be honest I wait outside the whole time. My boys are 7 and 9…they do seem like the most responsible little boys I have ever met. They wash their own dishes make their beds and feed the animals every day. I mean, what more could a mother ask for?